The Final Friday! ... Tops and Bottoms of FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES

Thanks to our readers who have kept with us on this rewatch journey. 

THE TOP TWENTY EPISODES
Friday the 13th: The Series is a better show than it has a right to be, all things considered. A syndicated show meant to capitalize on the notoriety and name-recognition of the (unfairly derided) Friday the 13th slasher films (but otherwise having nothing to do with that franchise), the show’s most successful individual episodes managed to tackle issues of race, gender inequity, neoconservatism, fascism, toxic masculinity, abuse of institutional power, the military industrial complex, and child and domestic abuse. Its guest directors included Jennifer Lynch, Atom Egoyan, and David Cronenberg. When it leaned into horror, as in episodes like “Scarecrow,” “Tales of the Undead” and “The Long Road Home,” the show anticipated and inspired later series such as The X-Files; and when it played with themes of the dark fantastic, as in episodes like “Shadow Boxer,” “Epitaph for a Lonely Soul” and “The Playhouse,” it could rival TV classics like One Step Beyond, Thriller and The Twilight Zone.

We base the following list of top 20 episodes on the strength of an individual episode’s innovation within and against the 1980s TV production landscape; their layered scripting and direction; the provocative political or critical content and rich themes blended into their narratives; their intertextuality or allusiveness to horror history, themes and motifs; and their possible creative influence on subsequent series. We could have listed a top ten, but we feel that these twenty-plus episodes are exemplary.

Honorable Mentions:
“The Great Montarro” (1.6)
“The Electrocutioner” (1.18)
“The Pirate’s Promise (1.22)
“The Voodoo Mambo” (2.2)

The Top 20

20. “Double Exposure” 1.21
19. “The Prophesy” Parts 1 and 2 (3.1, 3.2)
18. “Better Off Dead” 2.15
17. “Mesmer’s Bauble” 2.20
16. “Scarlet Cinema” 2.16

15. “Epitaph for a Lonely Soul” 3.12
14. “The Playhouse” 2.12
13. “Mightier Than the Sword” 3.10
12. “The Long Road Home” 3.15
11. “The Sweetest Sting” 2.11

10. “Scarecrow” (1.11)
9. “The Maestro” (2.23)
8. “Faith Healer” (1.12)
7. “Shadow Boxer” (1.8)
6. “And Now the News” (2.3)

5. “Repetition” (3.14)
4. “Tales of the Undead” (1.10)
3. “Wedding Bell Blues” (2.22)
2. “Pipe Dream” (1.24)
1. “The Butcher” (2.19)

- TOP 20 -
​THE BUTCHER (Season 2, Episode 19; Francis Delia, director; Francis Delia & Ron Magid, writers)

---

THE TOP TEN MOST PROVOCATIVE EPISODES
The following episodes—while they don’t always hit the mark—are interesting for their upfront treatment of subject matter not often handled so transparently in 1980s television. 

10. “Mesmer’s Bauble” 2.20
9. “Epitaph for a Lonely Soul” 3.12
8. “Repetition” 3.14
7. “Better Off Dead” 2.15
6. “The Maestro” 2.23
5. “Mightier Than the Sword” 3.10
4. “Faith Healer” 1.12
3. “Pipe Dream” 1.24
2. “The Butcher” 2.19
1. “Wedding Bell Blues” 2.22

- MOST PROVOCATIVE -
​WEDDING BELL BLUES (Season 2, Episode 22; Jorge Montesi, director; Nancy Ann Miller, writer)

---

THE TOP TEN MOST MISOGYNISTIC EPISODES
In a series that idles on misogynistic representation, these are quintessentials. We provide this list not to court outrage, but to illustrate where the series’ most egregious representations of women come to the surface, serving as a kind of key to mapping misogyny across the show. Antidote “chasers” highly recommended.

10. “Cupid’s Quiver” (1.3) [Antidote: “Mesmer’s Bauble” (2.20)]
9. “Night Hunger” (2.10) [Antidote: “The Pirate’s Promise (1.22)]
8. “Symphony in B-Sharp” (2.5) [Antidote: “The Maestro” (2.23)]
7. “Night Prey” (3.8) [Antidote: “The Voodoo Mambo” (2.2)]
6. “The Charnel Pit” (3.20) [Antidote: “Repetition” (3.14)]
5. “The Baron’s Bride” (1.13) [Antidote: “Double Exposure” (1.21)]
4. “Bad Penny” (3.6) [Antidote: “The Prophesy” Parts 1 and 2 (3.1, 3.2)]
3. “Wedding in Black” (2.21) [Antidote: “Wedding Bell Blues” (2.22)]
2. “Read My Lips” (2.8) [Antidote: “The Long Road Home” (3.15)]
1. “My Wife as a Dog” (3.16) [Antidote: “Pipe Dream” (1.24)]

​THE BOTTOM TEN EPISODES
Selected, for your displeasure, based on the same criteria as the top twenty episodes. Again, antidote chasers highly recommended.

10. “Jack in the Box” (3.17) [Antidote: “A Friend to the End” (18)]
9. “Wax Magic” (2.7) [Antidote: “Tales of the Undead” (1.10)]
8. “The Quilt of Hathor,” Parts 1 and 2” (1.20) [Antidote: “The Prophesy” Parts 1 and 2 (3.1, 3.2)]
7. “Wedding in Black” (2.21) [Antidote: “Wedding Bell Blues” (2.22)]
6. “The Baron’s Bride” (1.13) [Antidote: “Double Exposure” (1.21)]
5. “Read My Lips” (2.8) [Antidote: “The Long Road Home” (3.15)]
4. “The Prisoner” (2.25) [Antidote: “Mightier Than the Sword” 3.10)]
3. “Doorway to Hell” (2.1) [Antidote: “Scarlet Cinema” 2.16]
2. “Bottle of Dreams” (1.26) [Antidote: “The Playhouse” 2.12]
1. “My Wife as a Dog” (3.16) [Antidote: “Pipe Dream” (1.24)]

​- MOST MISOGYNISTIC / BOTTOM 10 -
MY WIFE AS A DOG (Season 3, Episode 16; Armand Mastroianni, director; Jim Henshaw, writer)

---

GUILTY PLEASURES
​Okay, to be honest, we don’t feel that guilty about the following lists. A couple of the episodes below are even in our top 20! But there’s something about these entries in the series that cause a titter—a feeling that even though some things aren’t gelling, there’s still much to be savoured.  And sometimes bad is just so, so good.

Kris’s List of 10 (in no particular order)

1. “Face of Evil” (2.14) for finding a way to make supermodels sympathetic, and for being an out-of-left-field sequel to an already fairly juicy episode (“Vanity’s Mirror” [1.15]; see Erin’s picks below.). 
2. “Badge of Honor” (1.23) for the unlikely combination of a Miami Vice aesthetic with allusions to Psycho.
3. “Crippled Inside” (3.4) for having a narrative that transcends its reprehensible title, and for giving Johnny his most nuanced and understandable moments (it never gets any better than this for Johnny, folks).
4. “Brain Drain” (1.17) for meshing a mad-science tale with breathing brains, a trephinator, and a love-and-death narrative for Jack.
5. “What a Mother Wouldn’t Do” (1.25) for balancing a backstory involving the Titanic, with an undead baby that requires human sacrifices to keep it alive, with hilarious allusions to Rosemary’s Baby.
6. “The Mephisto Ring” (2.17) for the incomparable Denis Forest, a mother that Scorsese would love, and the association of TV with death.
7. “Night Prey” (3.8) for trying really hard to do Anne Rice, and for being so disruptive to the series’ overall mythos, that it comes off almost as a backdoor pilot for a spinoff series.
8. “Demon Hunter” (3.3.) for its experimental parallel “real time” narrative structure, and some delightfully over-the-top cheese.
9. “Bedazzled” (1.14) for giving Micki the reigns to the episode and having her consistently outwit the villains (and for having little to do with that title).
10. “13 O’Clock” (2.9) for having a villain who acquires a cursed object that can stop time, but uses it to … pick pockets. And for its sympathetic treatment of a pair of street kids.

Erin’s List of 10 (in no particular order)

1. “Vanity’s Mirror” (1.15) for making its villain Helen so delightfully herself and a weirdly accurate portrayal of actual teen girlhood in the 1980s. Oh, and for her prom ensemble.
2. “Root of All Evil” (1.9) for an early Enrico Colantoni as the thoroughly irredeemable Adrian and his money-making mulcher.
3. “The Shaman’s Apprentice” (2.24) for making me root for the not-really-a-villain villain. 
4. “Femme Fatale” (3.9) for the special effects and the object of the villain’s obsession actually wresting her agency from him in both realities.
5. “What a Mother Wouldn’t Do” (1.25); see Kris’s entry above. 
6. “The Long Road Home” (3.15) and its hillbilly horror aesthetic. 
7. “Stick It In Your Ear” (3.8) for portraying everybody who works in television as borderline sociopathic. 
8. “The Pirate’s Promise” (1.22.) for the saddest-looking tourist town ever, and, obviously: PIRATES. 
9. “Poison Pen” (1.2) for sheer cheese, pervy monks, and a flying guillotine blade. What’s not to love? 
10. “Double Exposure” (1.21) for incompetent cops, Catherine Disher, and egregious scenery chewing.

- GUILTY PLEASURES -
WHAT A MOTHER WOULDN'T DO (Season 1, Episode 25; Neil Fearnley, director; Bruce Martin, writer)

---

Thank you for reading!

Thus ends our journey through Friday the 13th: The Series​. Stay tuned, as we prepare our next blog on the George A. Romero-produced series, Tales from the Darkside.